Wow....just listened to some two ladies yap in a Double M unashamedly
The kind of advice being thrown around?
"Leave him" "Don't waste your time" "I can never and will never forgive"
Call me naive or a dreamer but I am a firm believer in making it work. I feel too many good relationships end because of misunderstandings that can be sorted. Sometimes we have to see the ugly in someone to truly love them as they are. As Marianne Williamson said in her book, " A return to Love"...
“Until we have seen someone's darkness, we don't really know who they are. Until we have forgiven someone's darkness, we don't really know what love is.”
I am not excusing the inexcusable and if it is harmful leave. But if it can be fixed, do so. Nothing comes easy in life...sometimes you have to learn, and you have to grow and it has to hurt.
I conclude by quoting T.D JAKES in his sermon," Reality Check"
"That's what you get for taking advice on a man from a woman..."
I am also weary of taking relationship advice from women who have not walked a mile in my shoes or who married their high school sweet heart at 21 LOL
#Mytwocents #CindySpeaks #Istillbelieveinlove #Makeitwork
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
Saturday, 19 July 2014
RESPONSE TO NJOKI CHEGE: LADIES IT'S NOT ALL YOUR FAULT HE IS CHEATING BUT HERE'S WHY....
We've all read Njoki's blog post, if not, find it here ====> http://www.kenyan-post.com/2014/07/here-is-that-article-by-njoki-chege.html
Now here is my two cents...
1. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU IF YOU MAKE HIM YOUR WHOLE LIFE
If you cannot have a descent weekend without calling or texting him or getting called and texted,you have made him your world and he will feel suffocated. You were an individual before you met your mate. The fact that he is warming your bed at night and filling you phone inbox does not mean you surrender your life,hobbies, aspirations and dreams to him. Men like to chase,keep the chase going. Do your own thing! Be scarce..it is an element that makes money VALUABLE...it's scarcity. If you are always at his place every weekend, washing his duvet and he hasn't met your folks...mtazoena and he will/might cheat
At the end of the day, the only person you can count on 100 percent of the time is yourself. Do not make the unfortunate mistake I made with my exes and place your entire happiness in the hands of another flawed human being. A relationship is not going to fulfill the void if you can’t even make yourself happy. You need to achieve happiness on your own before you can find someone else to share it with. This creates a detrimental dependency that will prevent you from becoming self-sufficient.
2. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU UKIJIACHILIA
Njoki was trying to make a point but we all caught a feeling.I dress a certain way, so I attract a certain kind of folks...definitely not the kind that make it rain at Millionaires club. Why? That's my style..it's what I know and love. If you attracted a "shine eyed boy" with your tu-tight up skirts and cleavage and kitenge dresses, he will expect you to maintain it forever,three kids and stretchmarks not withstanding. Granted, genetics play a part..but so does the gym and if that doesn't work..there are plenty of plus size funky outfits that make you look sexy. If that still doesn't work..he will cheat on you because you married or are dating a shallow bastard!
3. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO CATCH FEELINGS
Let it go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Wacha kununa. There's no guy who likes bembelezaring you beyond the point where he will/will not get laid. Let it go.If he said he is sorry , hold him accountable but don't give him the silent treatment. Men prefer women who are easy to be around.I'm not saying stand his crap. Don't! Let him know where you draw the line. After he has drawn it with that ka foam the referees used during the world cup... Let it go, wear your tight-up skirt and show him what a bad boy he is. Like seriously, are you 12? stop sulking let your toi do that!
4. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU IF YOU ASK HIM TO CHANGE
You found him smoking right? What makes you think forcing him to do Mizizi will change that? I have been the biggest culprit in terms of changing a man. I've dated guys with weird idiosyncrasies like ridiculous porn collections ( KEDO A TERRABYTE! HEHEHEHE) or with daddy/mummy issues. What do I do? The wonder woman effect. I try to "love them" into changing for me , using words like "us" but it's "me" It's a selfish thing and love has nothing to do with it!
If you want a Christian man don't try to change the office bad boy then emotionally black mail him. Tick the "Terms and conditions apply" box during your first kiss/romp and ACCEPT AND MOVE ON!
I read somewhere that happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.
5. HE WILL CHEAT BECAUSE YOU KEEP FORGIVING HIS SORRY ASS
Fool me once! Shame on me..fool me twice? Woman, he fooled around twice???? and you took him back? You deserve what you get.Why I give the exception to once is because every one has a weak moment and I know many maaaaaaaaaaany relationships that have blossomed after an affair. With hard work, prayer and determination, anything can be solved. It takes all kinds me thinks and there are men who learn their lesson but if he does it again, LET THAT KENYAN GO!!!
6. HE WILL CHEAT BECAUSE HE IS A CHEAT
There are men who have a "wandering spirit" wanapenda tu kutiana. It could be something they learnt from their parents, how they were raised, a sex addict, a daddy/mummy issues guy...whatever it is, there are men who will always cheat. They will settle because they are tired. The same way there are bonafide assholes and thieves who just don't learn or change..there are men who just can't keep their zip closed.How can you tell? How many baby mamas does he have again?
Finally ladies, know yourselves. I have been cheated on enough times to know, sometimes....IT IS MY FAULT.I didn't love myself enough to choose a good guy or wait for God's timing or appreciate the good thing I had UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE.
Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. If you let go of expectations, you will never be disappointed. Often, we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Do not expect a certain result from any given situations. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.
Every relationship has a story..but yes he will cheat if you nag, you are insecure, you made him your universe and because you keep LETTING HIM CHEAT
BREAK FREE AND WATCH THIS...HOPE IT HELPS ====> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsgMXT7QBKk
Additional material==> http://elitedaily.com/life/20s-things-you-need-to-let-go-to-live-happy-life/
Now here is my two cents...
1. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU IF YOU MAKE HIM YOUR WHOLE LIFE
If you cannot have a descent weekend without calling or texting him or getting called and texted,you have made him your world and he will feel suffocated. You were an individual before you met your mate. The fact that he is warming your bed at night and filling you phone inbox does not mean you surrender your life,hobbies, aspirations and dreams to him. Men like to chase,keep the chase going. Do your own thing! Be scarce..it is an element that makes money VALUABLE...it's scarcity. If you are always at his place every weekend, washing his duvet and he hasn't met your folks...mtazoena and he will/might cheat
At the end of the day, the only person you can count on 100 percent of the time is yourself. Do not make the unfortunate mistake I made with my exes and place your entire happiness in the hands of another flawed human being. A relationship is not going to fulfill the void if you can’t even make yourself happy. You need to achieve happiness on your own before you can find someone else to share it with. This creates a detrimental dependency that will prevent you from becoming self-sufficient.
2. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU UKIJIACHILIA
Njoki was trying to make a point but we all caught a feeling.I dress a certain way, so I attract a certain kind of folks...definitely not the kind that make it rain at Millionaires club. Why? That's my style..it's what I know and love. If you attracted a "shine eyed boy" with your tu-tight up skirts and cleavage and kitenge dresses, he will expect you to maintain it forever,three kids and stretchmarks not withstanding. Granted, genetics play a part..but so does the gym and if that doesn't work..there are plenty of plus size funky outfits that make you look sexy. If that still doesn't work..he will cheat on you because you married or are dating a shallow bastard!
3. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO CATCH FEELINGS
Let it go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Wacha kununa. There's no guy who likes bembelezaring you beyond the point where he will/will not get laid. Let it go.If he said he is sorry , hold him accountable but don't give him the silent treatment. Men prefer women who are easy to be around.I'm not saying stand his crap. Don't! Let him know where you draw the line. After he has drawn it with that ka foam the referees used during the world cup... Let it go, wear your tight-up skirt and show him what a bad boy he is. Like seriously, are you 12? stop sulking let your toi do that!
4. HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU IF YOU ASK HIM TO CHANGE
You found him smoking right? What makes you think forcing him to do Mizizi will change that? I have been the biggest culprit in terms of changing a man. I've dated guys with weird idiosyncrasies like ridiculous porn collections ( KEDO A TERRABYTE! HEHEHEHE) or with daddy/mummy issues. What do I do? The wonder woman effect. I try to "love them" into changing for me , using words like "us" but it's "me" It's a selfish thing and love has nothing to do with it!
If you want a Christian man don't try to change the office bad boy then emotionally black mail him. Tick the "Terms and conditions apply" box during your first kiss/romp and ACCEPT AND MOVE ON!
I read somewhere that happy people tend to have extremely high levels of self-esteem. They accept who they are and work it everyday of their lives. They radiate confidence, flaunt their pride and give off positive vibes. There is no reason to be insecure in life. If there are things you are self-conscious about, go out into the world and seek to change them. Only you have the ability to create the best version of yourself.
5. HE WILL CHEAT BECAUSE YOU KEEP FORGIVING HIS SORRY ASS
Fool me once! Shame on me..fool me twice? Woman, he fooled around twice???? and you took him back? You deserve what you get.Why I give the exception to once is because every one has a weak moment and I know many maaaaaaaaaaany relationships that have blossomed after an affair. With hard work, prayer and determination, anything can be solved. It takes all kinds me thinks and there are men who learn their lesson but if he does it again, LET THAT KENYAN GO!!!
6. HE WILL CHEAT BECAUSE HE IS A CHEAT
There are men who have a "wandering spirit" wanapenda tu kutiana. It could be something they learnt from their parents, how they were raised, a sex addict, a daddy/mummy issues guy...whatever it is, there are men who will always cheat. They will settle because they are tired. The same way there are bonafide assholes and thieves who just don't learn or change..there are men who just can't keep their zip closed.How can you tell? How many baby mamas does he have again?
Finally ladies, know yourselves. I have been cheated on enough times to know, sometimes....IT IS MY FAULT.I didn't love myself enough to choose a good guy or wait for God's timing or appreciate the good thing I had UNTIL IT WAS TOO LATE.
Managing your expectations is the key to happiness. If you let go of expectations, you will never be disappointed. Often, we tend to believe that the way we treat others will be the way we are treated in return. Unfortunately, this does not always happen. Do not expect a certain result from any given situations. Go into an experience with an open mind. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself, without the pressure of living up to preconceived notions.
Every relationship has a story..but yes he will cheat if you nag, you are insecure, you made him your universe and because you keep LETTING HIM CHEAT
BREAK FREE AND WATCH THIS...HOPE IT HELPS ====> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsgMXT7QBKk
Additional material==> http://elitedaily.com/life/20s-things-you-need-to-let-go-to-live-happy-life/
Wednesday, 16 July 2014
Once again I find my self in the receiving end of this constant roller coaster of amour
Granted my choices have been wanting but my intentions during the formative stages warrant a better ending than this constant drilling of my a wound still smarting from my last desertion
A pain that ebbs an emotion so terrible that it shakes the very foundation of my soul and pushes me to the boundaries of insanity
I am undone, so much so that I want to run up 50 flights of stairs to the tallest building I can find and just when I am almost out of breath, I want to use whatever whisper I have in me to bellow out a harrowing cry, a silent echo of the deep emptiness I now feel
My life has become unpalatable and my belief systems shaken.
So jaded am I that the thin line between self love and pity has been crossed, intermarriages happened and begot an offspring of hopelessness
Cold pockets in my bed constantly remind me of my destitution, my constant curse in loving men who, when push comes to shove, choose to run to the furthest corner of their universe than to make it work at the nearest grocery store with me
How revolting am I…How absurd is my constant belief in a mate that the reciprocation is wanting
Or perhaps the problem is me, thinking of myself too highly when indeed I am the dread that haunts gentlemen at their finest hour
Will I ever sleep
Will I ever slumber
Will I ever truly awake
Will I ever STOP having a heart ache!
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