Monday, 13 October 2008

This poem was inspired by the Awakening by Sonny Carrol


My awakening came one day when I sat on my bed clutching my heart so tight
Coz I thought it was going to burst open
Pain ripped through me like I had swallowed hot stones that were beating in tandem with my anxiety
And to my surprise I whispered loudly, there is more to life than James Brown
Off course I can’t say his name, my purpose is not to defame him it’s about the awakening, that time that comes in your life when you finally get it

Your spirit, In the midst of all your fears and insanity stops you dead in your tracks cries ENOUGH!!
Enough fighting and crying
Struggling and trying to hold on.
And, like a child quieting down after fitful storm,
Your sobs begin to subside, and something inside you sees the world
Like they were staring out of God’s eyes.
The tide is an awakening.

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change,
Your deranged view of happiness, safety and security
Gallop over to the next horizon and disappear
Like your belief in Prince Charming, that’s fiction
and you are not Cinderella that’s a vision
the world paints to taint your focus on facts.
The fact is there aren’t fairytale endings or beginnings
and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" is with giving the child back to you

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect,
not everyone will always love, appreciate your defects
and it's OK.
They are entitled to their own opinions, they call themselves legion coz their points of view are many
So tell me, why would there contusions be a reason to judge your every breath with
You awaken when you stop bitching and blaming other people for maiming you by what they did or did not do to you
and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

And the awakening, so

Wake up and smell the coffee darling, it’s not always about you
you learn to overlook shortcomings and human frailties
you learn to stop judging and pointing fingers,
you learn you learn you learn

to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
Redefining the good people and the goody two-shoes
You learn the difference between wanting and needing,
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, through learning
arming yourself with a cross that you now bare gracefully
like scars reminding you that the past is not a destiny
the stars are things that you should play on
walk on water kind of faith
those days are gone
You have worn your last crown of bondage
Packed all your false realities in storage
Coz we all know that love causes
You to learn
you learn you learn you learn

the difference between romantic love and familial love.
when to stop giving, and when to walk away.
And it’s ok
You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.
You a more valuable than an emotional field trip
Stay at home, read a book,
"alone" does not mean lonely.
Is there anybody who is feeling me
say learn

Awakening is when
You admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of a wall
You stand tall and are thankful
and take comfort in things that are simple
a full fridge, running water,
a warm bed,
a long hot shower.
Slowly you begin to take responsibility for yourself, by yourself,
You make a promise to never betray thyself
and to never, ever settle for less
than your heart's desire.
You walk through the wire, umbrella in hand
Balancing and trusting the wind
That you now listen to
Because your heart is open to everything wonderful
Finally you don’t grab it so hard
You understand
with courage and with God by your side,
you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and abide to
design the life you want to live as best you can.

Because you have lived and learnt
And are now wide awake!